Early Childhood Educator Russell Boaz joins Sarah and Kenzee on this episode of Listen to the Helpers to share what being a helper means to him, and how the life and work of Fred Rogers inspires him both in and out of the classroom.
Listen to the full episode below:
Sarah Goehring: Welcome back to Listen to the Helpers, a podcast created by the Fred Rogers Institute to elevate the voices of helpers everywhere. Fred Rogers once said, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Today, we're joined by Russell Boaz, an early childhood educator and a participant in our educators neighborhood program through the Fred Rogers Institute. At the end of this episode, stay tuned as Kenzee and I reflect on our discussion with Russell in the context of Fred Rogers legacy and our own work at the Fred Rogers Institute.
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Sarah: We are so excited to have Russell Boaz with us for today's episode. And to start off, we would love to know, Russell, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Tell us who you are, where you are, what you do.
Russell Boaz: Sure. Thank you so much, Sarah. Uh, yeah, my name is Russell Boaz, as you said, and I am currently in Hong Kong where I am an early childhood educator. Um, primarily teaching playgroup-age children. And here in Hong Kong, that means basically children aged from 12 to 24 months old. And it's a very unique situation because here in Hong Kong with that age there has to be an accompanied caregiver come with the child. So it's either their parent, a grandparent or the culture here, a lot of the families have a domestic helper uh take care of the child. And that domestic helper is either from the Philippines or Indonesia mainly. And yeah, but it's funny my uh my original path it wasn't teaching, it was film. Uh then teaching was actually only a temporary plan but it's become my passion and my career for nearly 15 years in counting and yeah so that's that's me.
Sarah: Wow. When did you make that jump from film to early childhood education?
Russell: Well, so that's that happened in 2010 and I will be to be honest, I made that jump out of necessity because I wanted to move to Hong Kong and the only job I could find in Hong Kong uh that wasn't in finance or in law was uh teaching uh player age children. And so I was like, you know what? I'm just going to do this for 2 years. And yeah, and now it's suddenly turned into a career. And it's been quite a journey. I will say that. Um cuz I for the first six years of my career of teaching, I don't know, it was very just sort of that rigid um sort of teaching. There's only one way to do things. Um you have the child has to sit down they need to do the activities they have to do art a certain way um and yeah that was my first six years and then after that I moved to a different school and it was a school that was a Reggio Emelia inspired school and that's where my philosophy and practice started changing and it was around that time where not only I changed schools but I started reading more of the works of like Janet Lansbury, Magna Gerber with Rye, which is resourceful educators. I started to read authors like Alfie Khan, uh Heather Schumacher, I think I've seen that name, right, who wrote these great books called It's Okay Not To Share and It's Okay to Open the Slide and the work of Carol [inaudible] uh Growth Mindset. Um and then yeah and it was around that time also the documentary came out about Fred Rogers about the one you be my neighbor and it was just all this was happening and it just sort of changed my philosophy of and to where my practice was going and just changing to words more of respecting a child for who they are and where they are right now and practicing in the Fred Rogers of course of this book. Practicing radical acceptance of not only children but of just everyone and acknowledging the emotions of children and accepting those emotions and it's really impacted all that just really impacted the way I interact with children and adults now too and with myself too. Um, yeah. So, that's sort of like my evolution from when I first started to now. And so, and I'm continuing to grow like I don't know everything and I will never know everything about teaching. And I there's so much more I want to learn and so much more I know and so yeah, that's hope that answers that question.
Kenzee Knott: Yeah, it definitely does. No, thank you, Russell. Um, so related to what you just said, so why do you continue to keep teaching and like what inspires you to continue teaching? Now,
Russell: I don't know. My passion is being in the classroom. If I'm having like a bad morning or just a bad day in general, I know once I go into that classroom and see the children and see it just changes my mood, changes me. It's I don't know. There's just a way I connect with children. And I love connecting with them not only with children but with caregivers as well and just helping them to like especially with caregivers like seeing them change their perspective about these generational ways we've been doing things in classrooms you know or these generational ways we've been doing things with children like for instance I remember a few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a parent and their child was uh at the table, this table, and I needed to use that table for art, and I just went down, knelt down to the child and was like, "Hey, um, is it okay? Can we move this to the floor? I need to use this for art." And the child picked up their stuff and went to the floor. And the mom was like, "How did you do that?" And I was like, "I just talked to her with respect. I talked to her I just talked to her like a human. I didn't like be like, "Oh, you need to do this." I just and just seeing how the parents change their perspective and seeing them change how they talk to children and how they acknowledge those emotions and that's why I do this.
Sarah: That's so interesting. I love that idea of helping people shift their perspectives of children and and it's true that that and I'm thinking about what you said earlier about the radical acceptance and that combined with that idea of treating children just like people because they're people.
Russell: Yeah, it's with the radical acceptance. It's like you constantly see like I see it all around me, but just if child is crying, you'll just see a parent be like, "Oh, no, stop crying. Don't do that. Don't do that." Or if they're angry, they're like, "Oh my gosh, how dare you get angry." And it's like, what do we do that to an adult? No, we wouldn't. And it's like, why do we do it to children? We accept adult well a lot of times we accept adults emotions like they're sad or angry but why can't we accept that a child be angry? I mean of course like if a child's angry they hit of course be like you know what I see you're angry but I can't let you hit. How about we go scribble on a sheet of paper if we're angry. But we don't. We think oh you're angry you shouldn't be angry. Even though this child took your toy you can't be angry. And I'm like if someone took something of mine I would be angry. And if you told me I can't be angry because of that, I'll be even more angry. Yeah. Or if a child is sad because someone took their toy or they'd fell, but yet you're like, "Oh, stop crying. You're okay." It's like, "No, if I fell and I was like really hurt." If you came up to tell me, "Oh, stop crying. You're okay." Like, "No, I'm not." But we treat children so differently. And I don't I don't understand. Like I… Janet Lansbury has this great thing where she says, I respect a child like you would an honored guest. And that's the philosophy. That's the mindset I have when I'm in the classroom. I always treat a child like I would an honored guest. So if I don't if let's say, God forbid, like I have like I can't use my body because I have a stroke or anything and someone has to take care of me. I would want that person letting me know, well, you know what? I'm going to pick you up now. I'm going to do this. But yet somehow with little kids, we think, "Oh, it's okay to just pick them up without telling them. It's okay to just grab them or do this without telling them." And it's like, "No, I want them to I want children to know that they're respected." And that really changes their the child's perspective as well, their attitude. When you when they realize that they're are respected and it really changes how they act and stuff. So, yeah,
Sarah: I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. That's that's really going to stick with me, that treating a child like an honored guest. I made a note because [clears throat] that's just that's a really powerful thing to think about. I love that so much.
Russell: Yeah.
Sarah: So, as you know, Fred frequently talked about looking for the helpers, and you know, that's was the inspiration for this particular podcast as well. Um, so we would love to know what you think it means to be a helper.
Russell: Oh my gosh, that's a really good question. Um, for me, well, I can tell you what a helper isn't. It isn't someone who fixes problems or provides solutions. For me, a helper [clears throat] is someone who creates a safe and secure environment. Um, it's a trusted adult who listens without judgment. uh and helps a child or an adult, anyone process um their emotions and navigate the world, you know. Uh and especially being a teacher like uh like being a helper is not just teaching like ABC's and one 123s. It's truly seeing that whole child and helping them feel seen and heard and understood. Not and not just children but adults like the caregivers in my class the helpers. Yeah. So just and of course being a helper means like I've said Fred Rogers says radical pressingradical acceptance. It's to be a helper is to like accept that person exactly who they are with all their feelings and all their unique qualities. Yeah.
Kenzee: So you work with particularly little kids. How do you help them feel seen or heard in the classroom?
Russell: Oh, yeah. And admit it's hard because they're not verbal a lot, but it's just whenever they're having a really emotional moment, just letting them know, you know what, I'm here for you. I see you're sad. And if you want to cry, I am here for you and I will be with you to help you to get through this emotion. And because for children that age, emotions are scary. They don't know that there's a beginning, middle, or end. To have this feeling of being scared or being sad and not knowing if it's going to end, that is a scary thing. And again, like a lot of adults think like a child or two, they should be, "Oh, don't you again go back to the you're okay, you're okay, stop crying." It's like, no, they're still trying to figure out the world around them. And I know some adults that's still trying to figure out the world around them. But you're expecting a 2-year-old to one and two-year-old to do that. And it's that hard. And I want them to know that they can be themselves and be feel these emotions and and if they and even like going to talking about play, respecting their their ideas on play as well. um if they want to explore certain things together and just like I'm all about like loose parts and opening materials and they want to explore all these materials together. Let them explore that. Let them explore their interest in their own idea as opposed to you being like, "Okay, now pick up the red one. Oh, show me the red. Oh, show me the giraffe. Oh, show me this." No. Go along with their interest. Respect what their play. As long as it's not hurting people or property, it's okay.
Sarah: I'm so glad that you said that about respecting children's play, especially I mean at all ages that's important, but especially at those really really young ages where they're just learning how to play and what play is. I find myself getting a little frustrated when I see even like my my son is about one and I get a little bit frustrated when I see, you know, maybe family members or friends trying to play with him and they have such good intentions but they're like, "No, that's not right." or like, "Oh, I wanted to do it this way or try it this way. Try it that way." And I know it's because they're excited to play with him. They're maybe they got him a new toy and they want them to see how it works with him and and but I'm like, "But wait, let's see what he does." Like, let's see what he wants to do with it.
Russell: Or they get the toy that comes in the box. He wants to play with the box.
Sarah: Yes. It's okay if he plays with the box. He'll find the toy eventually, but it's all It can all be fun. It can all be play.
Russell: Exactly. It can. And I mean there's so much there's so many definitions of play. Even a child just looking and staring, we think, "Oh, he's so in doubt." No, that's actually a form of play. He's looking, observing, watching. Um, and like and going back to respecting children, probably going off on the tangent, but like with children observing and watching, like I. So a lot of children at this age, any age, they need that time and space to feel safe and secure. And a lot of children that I teach, I noticed a lot of parents and caregivers and again they have the best intention, but they tend to push them, oh go play, go explore. I'm like, no, give them that time and space to feel safe and secure and they'll start and learning. If they're in a safe and secure moment, it's easier for them to learn. But if you push them, they're not going to feel as safe and secure and it's going to be harder for them to learn things. And I sort of look at that like cuz I'm very much an introvert. I'm like on a scale of I know it doesn't seem like it being a teacher. Like I'm like on a scale of 1 to 10 of introvertness, I'm like at 100. I am a very much an introvert. So I feel for those children that need that time and space. I always equate it to I heard this great um analogy once that you know there are those people that just like to jump into a swimming pool and then there are those people like myself who need to just get their foot in and then get that warmed up and get get their leg in and then slowly but surely they'll get their whole body and they'll start swimming. But if you push me, oh my gosh, I will not be happy. I will. Yeah. It's like those children need to that time and space to observe and to get warmed up. And it and in other situations as well, like if they need that time and space to for art, to touch paint, to touch sensory materials, let them observe and watch, don't force them to do it. Because again, going back to that, would you do that to an adult? Would you force an adult to do something they didn't want to do yet, weren't ready for? No, you wouldn't. And if you did, they'd probably be mad at you.
Kenzee: So, what is something you wish people knew about what you do?
Russell: The emotional labor of this job. I mean, you see the visible parts. You see the activities that we do, the provocations, what we call them, the the music and story times that we do, um the the art experiences that we do. But then same part is there's a lot of and maybe there's a lot of emotional labor involved. Um and it's not about managing children's emotions but also helping the caregivers to like process their own feelings and frustrations or stress as well because I know I'm not just a teacher. I'm a source of support uh and a guide for the adults in the room that are accompanying those children as well. Um yeah, and it's and with that it's like having to build trust with those caregivers. Um validating their work because some we call them um they they're called aunties here uh is what they a lot of families call the domestic helpers. A lot of aunties their role is incredibly important and they're doing this great job of raising this child that isn't even their own. And that's a form of helping of itself. I mean, they're helping them in such a major way. And it's just validating their work and building trust with them because once you build trust, you can help communicate things about the child and their development and they're more trusting you and what you have to say. So yeah, that's a big part just that emotional labor that goes into not only with children but with the caregivers and adults in the classroom as well.
Sarah: I can only imagine that that emotional labor that goes into helping like you do because like you said, you're helping not only the children in your care, but the families in your care too and trying to manage helping yourself and and your own personal life that you have outside of your job because you I'm sure wear so many hats. So that I think that's a great thing to share about like what you want people to see or hear that maybe goes unseen a lot of times. And kind of along the lines of that emotional labor that goes into um into your profession of helping, what is a story of maybe when you remembered your why and maybe a time when you were really feeling the heaviness of that emotional labor, that taxing side of your your helping profession and how you came into the realization of, oh, that's that's why I do what I do. Do you have a story like that that you could share?
Russell: I do actually. Um yeah, and actually this is going to be a really hard story to share because it has to do with my dad who recently passed away. Um but in my job, and we talk about this a lot just now, that radical acceptance and creating a safe space for children to be exactly who they are. And for the longest time, I thought I don't know, I was like cuz I was really into Mister Rogers and all that and him practicing radical acceptance. But looking past, I really got that from my father more than Fred Rogers and my dad. So he was this person who was completely opposite from me. All right? He had different political views. He's very right leaning. He had this conservative small town East Texas mentality uh in very traditional masculine loves football, you know, um goes to football games every Friday, Saturday, Sunday night. Complete opposite from his um gay left-leaning son who is very international, travels a lot. The day um when he died a few months ago, it finally hit me. And I'm so and part of me feels guilty for just realizing it after his death. But despite all these differences, he radically accepted me for who I was. And he never tried to change me. He never tried to make me conform to my his expectations. And he had this sort of quiet unwavering acceptance that taught me the true meaning of being a helper at someone who doesn't miss or express emotions outwardly but provides this profound sense of security and belonging. And I don't know. Part of me is like I realize this too late. And I don't know. It's just but that's but for me that's my why. And everything in the classroom when I see a child struggling with an emotion or a caregiver feeling un-saturating that child or adult know that it's okay to be exactly who they are. And that's the story of a time I remember a lot.
Sarah: Russell, thank you so much for sharing that story and we are so sorry for your loss and we so appreciate you being so vulnerable to share that with us. That is that's really meaningful. Thank you so much.
Kenzee: Yeah. And it's really beautiful that your dad's memory can be like such a blessing for you and in the classroom as well.
Russell: Yeah.
Kenzee: So, you've talked a little bit about, well, not even a little, you've talked about Fred throughout our conversation, but is there anything else you wanted to share about your own personal connection with Fred?
Russell: Fred, he inspires me every day. Um, I even like I even have his this book right here of his quotes that I look at every day and it's I even have his quotes on my wall and I don't know just the one quote I remember about him his quote that really resonates every day in my life and and and I'm probably going to butcher it and I'm so sorry but he's was I forget if talking about the key to success or something. Be kind. The second thing is be kind. And the third thing is be kind. And that is one thing I really try to do in my class. I want to be kind and just be there for the children, the adults, for my work colleagues as well, for everyone that for my partner, for Yeah. just to be kind and to help and yeah and to even though if the children are having a rough day that I'm still proud of them for trying and I'm proud of myself for trying as well even if I have a rough day. Yeah.
Sarah: I love that you added that in there that you're proud of yourself for trying too. That's important. I'm glad that you thought of that. I'm proud of you too.
Russell: I'm proud of you too, Sarah.
Sarah: so, as we as we kind of wrap up our our discussion together, do you have any final thoughts that you'd like to share with our listeners?
Russell: Just what I said earlier, like just remember your child, they're trying and they're [clears throat] trying their hardest and I know some days are tough, but be proud of them for even if They're having the roughest days. Still be proud of them. And you, for parents and caregivers, anyone who's taking care of a child, you're also doing a great job. You're trying your hardest to raise a child. And parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and I'm proud of you.
Sarah: Thank you so much, Russell. This has been such a fun discussion and I feel like I I we already knew you well, but I feel like I've learned so much more about you in this time that we've been talking and but what a wonderful opportunity to just to just have you with us and just just chat for a little bit and we're so thankful that you could join us.
Russell: I'm grateful to be [clears throat] able to do this and I'm grateful to yeah to talk with you about
Sarah: you're such an incredible helper and it it show I don't have to be in your classroom to know that you do such important work cause it it shows just in the way that you talk about what you do, the way you talk about the children that you care for every single day. So I I'm I'm proud of you, Russell.
Russell: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
Sarah: What a joyful conversation with Russell that was. I always enjoy getting to speak with him and he has such a deep perspective on the work that he does and the way that he's helping others.
Kenzee: And it's so interesting that he didn't start off in education. He was originally for film and he decided to go down the education route um because he wanted to move to Hong Kong and just ended up loving it so much.
Sarah: I didn't know that. He's been in our educators neighborhood program participating in some capacity for the past couple of years and I feel like I should have known that by about him by now but I didn't. So that was a really interesting thing to learn.
Kenzee: Right. Exactly. What stuck out to you in that conversation we just had? [clears throat]
Sarah: Definitely his ideas about radical acceptance of children and of people in general. I love that he talked so much about that part of that radical acceptance being accepting and even encouraging different emotions and feelings. And I love that he made a point to say that big feelings of any kind can be really scary to children. And when you think about it, it makes sense because everything is new when you're a child, when you're so little, everything is new. So, if it's the first time that you're feeling a big feeling, that can that can be pretty scary and you don't know what's going to happen or why you're feeling what you're feeling. And that big feelings are scary enough as adults. So, putting it in the eyes of a child that can only can only be a little bit scarier. and him talking about it being okay and good to express and to feel all kinds of feelings made me think about Fred's song, What Do You Do with the Mad That You Feel? And for any of our listeners who maybe aren't as familiar with that song, um some of the lyrics of that song are, "What do you do with the mad that you feel when you feel so mad you could bite? When the whole wide world seems oh so wrong and nothing you do seems very right. What do you do? Do you punch a bag? Do you pound some clay or some dough? Do you round up friends for a game of tag or see how fast you can go? So, thinking about that song in the context of Russell sharing about accepting ch children's feelings and encouraging them to express their feelings, I I feel like he was kind of embodying that song of Fred's.
Kenzee: Yeah. And just for him to also say like, hey, even as an adult, if someone took my things, like I would be angry and sad, too. It's not necessarily a bad thing to feel these strong feelings. It's what you do with these emotions, just like the Fred song, that's really important.
Sarah: Absolutely. And I'm also thinking about Fred's quote when he said that anything human is mentionable and anything mentionable is manageable. So when we can name and express those feelings, they become more manageable and we can figure out what can we do with them. Can we go play tag? Can we go punch a pillow? What are we going to do with these feelings when we express them and name them?
Kenzee: For sure. Um, is there a particular one of the six fundamentals of learning and growing that stuck out to you?
Sarah: I think in the context of his talking about radical acceptance and respecting children as human beings, I'm thinking about self-worth as one of the six fundamentals that stood out to me and what Russell was talking about. I love that he brought up the idea of respecting a child like an honored guest. That was so I feel like so insightful to me and it seems like I heard him say that and I thought, well, that seems like obvious. Why Why have we not, you know, thought of that before? And I I just love that perspective of respecting a child like an honored guest. And that just really says self worth to me. Developing a child's sense of self worth and encouraging them to find their own sense of selfworth.
Kenzee: Yeah. And he really also emphasized um like helping a child feel seen and heard like you could tell just based off of our conversation like he he found that so important and that was one of the most important aspects of his job.
Sarah: Yes, absolutely. And I feel like another of the six fundamentals that stood out in what he was talking about was play. Um, and I think that kind of goes hand-in-hand to the sense of selfworth, hand-in-hand with the sense of selfworth that he's developing in the children that he serves because acceptance and respect can help create that space for children to feel comfortable to learn and to play and to be themselves and to figure out who they are. So I think play is obviously a huge part of childhood play is the work of childhood as Fred said, but developing that sense of self-worth and encouraging that sense of self-worth helps to encourage that play.
Kenzee: Yeah. Um another part of our conversation that really inspired me was the why he remembered his why. Um especially in his relationship with his dad.
Sarah: Yes. His story about his dad and how his relationship with his dad has helped Russell remember his why was so heartwarming. To hear that Russell and his dad were very different people living very different lives. And yet Russell was able to feel so fully and completely accepted and loved by his dad. and Russell wanting to extend that feeling of acceptance and love to the people that he works with, the children that he works with that first of all, what an amazing story and what an amazing feeling. And second of all, Russell is so absolutely doing that. You can tell by the way that he explains what he does and why he does what he does in his working with children that he is creating that space of acceptance and love for those children. You can also tell just in conversation with him that he's such a kind human being. I hope he feels very proud that he is extending that love and acceptance that his father extended to him. So we'd like to encourage our listeners to think about some ways that help make your feelings more mentionable and more manageable. Do you have a person in your life that you like to talk to about your feelings? Do you journal? Do you exercise when you're feeling big feelings? We hope that you'll take some time to think about that and reflect on ways that you can make those feelings more mentionable and manageable.
Kenzee: Yeah. Thank you again, Russell. That was such a great conversation. We're so happy to have him on the podcast.
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Kenzee: The Fred Rogers Institute advances the legacy of Fred Rogers by investing in the strengths of families and caring adults to support the healthy development of children. To learn more about the Fred Rogers Institute and our initiatives, visit fredrogersinstitute.org and follow the Fred Rogers Institute on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and X.
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