I like you as you are
Exactly and precisely
I think you turned out nicely
And I like you as you are
(from “I Like You As You Are”)
“I like you as you are” is one of the most salient messages educators name in discussions about how Fred Rogers’ work resonates with their practice. It’s a message their students need to hear. It’s a message their students’ families need to hear. And it’s a message that educators themselves need to hear.
As I think about this coming year with our brilliant and curious educators who are part of Educators’ Neighborhood, I am reflecting on this message—its theoretical, spiritual, and pedagogical foundations—and wondering what we might apply from its wisdom, and the wisdom of Fred Rogers, at this particular moment in time.
What’s resonating with me are the words: as you are. More than “I like you” or “You are special,” it’s the qualifier of “as you are” that feels of utmost importance right now. What might it mean to go into this school year as we are, invite all children and families to show up fully as they are, and ensure that in our learning spaces we mean what we say?: You belong here as you are.
These questions need wide-open, big-hearted, okay with not-knowing thoughtfulness. We’ll need to move beyond constructs of thinking that have created this present moment (full of dichotomies and divisions) to move into a future where being as you are becomes a lived reality for everyone (you = me = us). Cue the song “You’ve Got To Do It.” Follow it up with “I Love to Shine” and “Then Your Heart is Full of Love.”
As we consider these questions in our work contexts, it is important to note that the most significant place of practice is inside ourselves. Take time to:
We teach who we are. As Fred Rogers said, “Learning is caught, not taught.” Although it may seem like personal life is separate from professional life, who we are is not separate. How we allow ourselves to be (or not be) as we are, how we listen to and accept other people and ideas, how we frame and tell stories about what is present—all of this is what we mirror in our work. And children are particularly keen in their noticing of us.
In addition to self-reflection about how we see, talk about, feel, act, and allow ourselves to be who we are, it’s also important for us to ensure we take particular care this school year to design and plan in ways that support all children to come into our spaces as they are and be nurtured wholeheartedly as they are. Here are two essential layers for educators and caregivers to consider:
Be fully present.
Allow for extended open-ended space.
We can look to Fred Rogers and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood for concrete examples of what this looks like in practice. Although there are more examples than can be named, here are a few:
“As you are” is an instructive invitation to guide us towards collective grace, healing, and transformation. This school year is a beautiful opportunity for us to shift how teaching and learning operate in our schools and organizations. It’s my wish that we may share ourselves, reflect together, and grow beautiful conversations to find ways to embed and embolden “as you are” into the foundations of our teaching and learning spaces. I invite you to honestly explore your personal practice, talk with your colleagues, connect with Educators’ Neighborhood, speak, invent, play, share, and allow yourself to be more fully as you are in your work with children, families, educators, and communities.
Melissa A. Butler is the project lead of Educators’ Neighborhood with the Fred Rogers Institute.
Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, and her blog: Noticing Matters.
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